Humbled and honored am I, that you would take a few seconds past the images featuring better looking bodies than mine, to read some text. Actually, just a few text... okay, a lot of words!
I am originally from San Francisco, California but have been living in Spain since 1993. I have been working as a dedicated Black and White photographer for more than I care to remember, behind great cameras as Nikon, Mamiya, Minolta, Kowa, and Olympus. After many years behind those manual focus cameras, I finally jumped (boy did I) to autofocus, buying a Canon EOS Rebel G (European 500n) in late 1998, and soon after, a reflex digital camera that utilizes the same lens and accessories as the Canon camera. I have now added to this line an EOS film camera body to lessen the brain damage I have been suffering in switching constantly from a digital reflex digital to a film camera body, and the difference in various options and buttons between the two different models. Though I shoot mainly in manual mode as I don't think the focus is good enough for my images, I am somewhat happy, but prefer the weighty old cameras.
Though there are those in disagreement, or of my imagery (or both), I believe I am an artist. The only difference is I am working with a camera. However, it is not the camera that creates the image, but the eye and mind behind that camera; the camera is just a tool. This is what I sincerely believe what really makes a photographer who loves the art of the profession and thus stands out from others who just press the shutter, or wants to make that easy euro.
I do not judge other photographers by their cameras, years of experience or titles (though I wish I did, I do not possess a photographic title); I instead request to see photos. It is the results that impress me. Titles and knowledge is great but if one cannot apply it well or correctly, what good are they?
The sunlight coming through the window or being outdoors on a cloudy day gives me the best studio lighting I could use or even own. Does this make me better? No, there's many others better than I. This is just how I elect to create my images and how I choose to use, or not use, certain equipment. The only difference is that they can control their lighting, and I must maneuver my subjects to catch the light I have available and imitate that studio lighting.
Please think as I do: your imagery is a bit of history. Perhaps it will not gain us the fame of our fellow news or magazine photographers, but it is still a bit of history.
Strive to do your best.
And if you ever travel to my area (wherever dat might be) and happen to see me wandering please stop me to say hello and that you saw one of my gallery images. If you liked them and the commentary (or not), please tell me! I enjoy talking to and hearing from visitors of my webpage(s), and would love meeting you.
A few recent personal thoughts by the artist
If you appreciate fine art, see your body and face as art, and want that captured in an image, then contact me. Talk to me. But more than that, follow it with action and not just empty words.
I consider myself a reliable photographer/artist, and my word is more than gold, more than just words. Those who know me know I am never late, and like my sessions to be detailed (more so than my apartment). My word is my promise to do something for someone. For those who contact me, I expect the same. Do not contact me asking for images, then move to the moon and out of contact. I judge people by their words AND actions......
On the other hand, I am happy to be working on several occasions with a reliable and very photographic individual who not only realizes that fine art is special, but that finding someone creative enough to create that special image, is just as important. In my mind, I think of this person in the same way: that this individual is intelligent enough to see the artistry and originality I am capable of. It is a joy to work with someone who is mentally as creative as yourself, and thus helps in pushing that creative edge we both possess to the limit. Photographs do not lie. An image records a piece of a reality. If the person recorded is lifeless, without thoughts, without words or emotions, then it is an empty landscape, without clouds, without trees, without birds nor sun; this barren scene can be the only result. I do not record lifeless scenes. A photo session is between two persons, and is greatly influenced by the person in front of the lens as much as the person looking through the viewfinder.
The past few months has been hard but is starting to brighten anew with hope. Having given up a paying job in Barcelona because of the lack of personal time I wanted to devote to my photography was hard to do. I had also previously returned to the States to work also, but after discovering that the US is not what it used to be, was disillusioned and returned to Spain.What is more important: money and a "real life" so you can later do what you really enjoy? Or, is it what I am doing now: making very little money but having freedom to set my own hours (my appointment book has the rest of the year free, except for three days....) so I can enjoy my "reality" of recording life, scenes, and creating what I envision as fine art.
I live for photography. I see what my camera sees, though my camera is not always with me. My mind is a roll of film, and my eyes an extension of my lens. I see in tones of gray permanently set at about 275mm, and before I even press the shutter release, I already know what my image will look like. I sometimes believe I was born to be a photographer, and I will probably die as an unknown photographer, my imagery unknown to all but I, as I shoot many scenes for myself, and nobody sees these images. I don't even print them. They sit in archives, unseen by all and even myself, because I'll see them once as a negative before they are locked away in my cabinet.
But in this past year, I have been lucky enough to meet (or renew a friendship) three special individuals. One has unknowingly taught me to see in a special way, that nothing is original and nothing is new. So though I think my work is different, somewhere in the world, someone else also has my vision. This person has also created an image that is thought to be original, and probably looks like my same image and is thinking the same of his new work.
The other has given me wings to soar, to fly with my camera. I have envisioned many images that have been locked away for many years, many decades. These images have always lived in my mind, and I have never revealed my thoughts about what I wanted to capture on film to anyone else. I have never been able to record these images because of one silly reason or another, lack of time, etc. But because of this person, I am finally able to do what I want, and the results are just as I have always imagined: incredibly beautiful as the person who has helped me. The art I have previously envisioned, I am able to see, and capture. And it is more beautiful than I could possibly imagine or describe, because of this person's trust, my imagination flies beyond what I have ever imagined through my camera.
The last person is someone whom I have known for a long time. In my childhood, I have nothing but good memories of this person. But words have been lost over time. Through the internet, we are together again, and I am happy for it and hope this person feels the same way. Everyone in the world needs someone to look up to, and I am no exception. To have someone who believes in you, in your dreams, and shares your thoughts. Such a person can be the difference between a stormy or sunny day.
This new year brings a new hope for better things to come. I have tentatively confirmed one exhibition of my artistic nudes of artmodel Kat Love in Nerja, located in the Costa del Sol in fall of 2006.
Most importantly, I have been blessed by three special individuals who have taught me how to see, giving me wings to fly where before I could not. You know who you are, and hopefully realize the role you have played in my life.
Life is a funny game, a strange theater of characters and plots. I am now separated and miserable. My photography is the only purpose in life now. Somehow, my miserable lonely life took a strange turn through this unusual medium called the internet, and fate has set the stage for me, or was it for you? For a person who believes in nothing but today and his photography, there is now a small light at the end of the tunnel. For the first time in a long time, at least I realize there is a tunnel; it is no longer a maze.
I have a vision. My vision is seen through my eyes. My vision is all I see before me, but most of all, the human body and how that skin reflects light. I believe I have a born talent in seeing this as an art and wish to share with the world. That some people in Rota would actually try (and have already done so) attempt to stop my vision is a crime in itself, but that is life. I am very passionate about my life and it revolves around my cameras or my photography. If you want to be a part of my vision, please contact me. I am always seeking new subjects for my various projects. And I am shooting continuously for my Light, Water and Flora exhibition, which is quickly becoming a reality. If you like the water, swim like a fish and are comfortably nude in front of the camera, and believe your body can be seen as art, please email me. Please note anti-SPAM is on - delete the LL from my email address before emailing!!
If you are passionate about art like me, want to assist an artist create art for perhaps an upcoming exhibition, and are seriously interested in collaborating with me, I frequently shoot new images exclusively for these photography exhibitions in my spanish environment and am always in need for bodies. If you feel you have the bodyshape to be the featured subject in one of my shows, please get in contact me. These however, are always a trade for prints collaboration. Please note anti-SPAM is on - delete the LL from my email address before emailing!!
Recently, I have been giving consideration to only doing my artnudes and other similar themed imagery. I hate fighting with the local Rota photo studios, who seem to enjoy attacking me and my art, but do not treat others equally (probably because they are their spanish friends), and the unreliable people I deal with here who say one thing, then do not act on their words. Sure, I do not have money, nor do I make money, but as the old thought explains: it is a miserable artist who creates the best masterpieces!!
So, if you would like to participate in my masterpiece series, soon to be an exhibition within two years, please contact me. I would love to hear from you!
I firmly believe the best of the internet is sharing opinions, images and wisdom with your peers; that is what I truly believe and hope others share this same thought. I really enjoy "talking" to photographers and email many on a regular basis. If you feel like talking photography, please contact me; I always reply! It doesn't manner what language you or I speak, we only want to discuss one thing and that is truly international: our love of photography! Though I am american and speak English, I do try to communicate in Spanish. If your native language is NOT English, as long as you will put up with my lousy self-learnt Spanish, we can "talk".
There are people who know I am again planning a trip to the USA to create more artnudes. Because of my extensive negative experiences with the body search here with very little success in Spain, and of course this and many other factors, I have decided I will probably NOT engage in modelling photography after this upcoming trip. I am aware my "vision" is terrible and not everyone agrees with me. My biggest personal joke is that my imagery is so poor that I cannot even get people to pose for me or sell a single photograph even to save my life. While I am happy I can instead get many offers for sex, that's NOT on my list of things to do. I am very depressed with this situation, and confess that I have been for many years, but especially recently in planning for this trip. But I am not angry with anyone. I take myself too serious in this field called artnudes and in photography in general, and my experiences show I haven't sold one nude. Well, actually, I sold one but have yet to be paid for it and it's been months. Yes, THAT is how "good" I am. Frustrating, yes.... disappointing? VERY.
I am very disillusioned.... as can be any artist with their "art". Still, I am very grateful that I have had the past honor of working with a few people, but my photography appears to be on the way out, to the delight of quite a few people. At least I don't have to worry about the local "photographers" who work in the photography studios, stealing my poses and ideas for their new photo ideas that they call "their own". What a joke!! But they make a lot of money stealing poses and photo ideas from magazines, other photographers and from online websites.... success falls on those who aren't creative and are thieves.... sigh
I have some projects other than the trip, and will finish those, then I will continue being the bum that I am, and let the photography slide for a while. It's time I look seriously at whether I should continue this photography and start doing something else more creative.
I always go to see a few of the sunsets.... the clouds are always so beautiful here, and the beaches are always empty. The beaches are always empty here.... except for me.
My wish for this new year:
I wish there were no war.
I wish a better life and that everyone has a home.
Food for everyone, and shoes for all those feet, no matter what size.
I wish everyone had a job to provide them with money to feed them and their familes.
I wish the world were better.
I wish everyone had someone to share their low moments, and their bright times.
I wish I had someone with me to share these brillant, emotional sunsets with me,
and I wish I were not alone.....
I read my horoscope in the Diario de Cádiz, and it said (in castellano, of course):
Start having a more positive attitude and quit being so sad. Affairs related to friends and family will require your attention and your attitude must be better to help them.
Maybe I should help myself first, as I have been depressed for some time, but you are not here to read how depressed I am. But many who visit this site ask why I am displaying images and updating the site less and less. Well, of course there is a reason. It is one thing that I know a lot of Roteños will either celebrate (those thieving photo studios) or just not care:
I have decided to take a serious break from photography. My depression has gone so far as to affect my passion for photography. I met someone recently that I thought would change my idea about giving up photography entirely, and this person did. I have instead decided, because of this person, to give up my photography sooner than I had planned. Why? I say: Who cares? Unless you've been in my frame of mind, you wouldn't understand. It's not necessary. I won't go into details but in the next year, I will try to promote my existing imagery but continue on a VERY limited basis to practice my "fake" photography: the digital side. At the end of February, I will give up my film photography and box up my darkroom that I've had for 27 years. I have a few photography exhibitions planned for 2003 and I will continue with those plans. What happens in 2003 and 2004 will determine for me if I will separate myself from photography forever. Future sales of my imagery, interest, and those who hate me because of my photography, will determine if I toss the towel forever. Please don't email me to ask me details because it's too personal and painful for me to relate to friends and strangers. This page will stay here, but there will be very limited updates.
Please email me and share your thoughts and comments. I would really enjoy hearing what you think! Thanks again!
A new image of yours truly (yeck!!) the photographer, creator and webmaster of this site. This was taken by a visiting artist friend who wanted to use a point & shoot camera to get a better photo, but I insisted on a digital!
return to
the SKIN GRAY gallery Model for me? Individual Exhibitions
September 2005 German Landscapes" - Fundacion Alcalde Zoilo Ruiz-Mateos, Rota (Cádiz)
September 2002 "Skin Gray : Lights" Bodyscapes & more - Fundacion Alcalde Zoilo Ruiz-Mateos, Rota (Cádiz)
August - 2002 "Skin Gray II" Nude Imagery - bar ToTem, El Puerto de Santa María (Cádiz)
December - 2001 "Skin Grey" Bodyparts Imagery - Salon Dada, Rota (Cadiz)
October – 2000 "Memories of Rota - Images of Rota from 1977" - Fundacion Alcalde Zoilo Ruiz-Mateos, Rota (Cádiz)
April 1996 – "Three Views" - Casa de la Cultura, Alcala de Guadaira (Sevilla), Spain
September 1995 – "Spanish landscapes in my Memories" - Fundacion Alcalde Zoilo Ruiz-Mateos, Rota (Cádiz)
June 1995 – "Faces and More" - Salon Cultural Teatro Magiko, Rota (Cádiz)
July 1977 – "Landscapes" - Casa Cultural de la Biblioteca Municipal, Rota (Cádiz), Spain
April 1977 – "Through my Eyes" - Fundacion Ruiz-Mateos, Jerez de la Frontera (Cádiz), Spain
Group Displays
August 1999 – "Arcos through the Eyes of Two" - Fundacion Alcalde Zoilo Ruiz-Mateos, Rota (Cádiz)
1987 - Group display of art work, Palma de Mallorca, Spain
July 1978 - Caja de Ahorro de Jerez, Sanlucar de Barrameda (Cádiz), Spain
Internet
April 1999 – First Prize in FLASHNET-SHOPPING internet photo competition
P r i n t
April 2001 - LA FOTOGRAFIA ACTUAL - Spanish photography magazine
10, Mayo 2000 - DIARIO de CADIZ - Interview in the Spanish province newspaper
August 1993 - Lookout- Spain’s Magazine in English
May 1977 - ARTE FOTOGRAFICA Spanish photography magazine
Works in Progress Photographic exhibition during October/November 2006 in Nerja (Costa del Sol), featuring the beautiful form and art of Kat Love, artmodel extraordinaire. The display will consist of her images created during August, 2005 in Almeria, Guadix and in Rota and is not to be missed.
Please donate to help me continue to share my passion and vision through the internet.
Donations help fund more bodyscapes and bodyparts projects, exhibitions and more.
Help me to feed my starving camera....
